LeleLives

June 14, 2023

HER JOURNEY ON BECOMING A MOTHER WITHOUT A MOTHER.

Title: Embracing Motherhood Without a Mother: A Journey of Love and Resilience

Introduction: Becoming a mother is a transformative experience, filled with joy, love, and a profound sense of responsibility. However, for some of us, the journey into motherhood comes with a unique challenge - navigating this life-changing role without the guidance and support of our own mothers. While it may seem daunting at first, the absence of a mother can also provide an opportunity for self-discovery, personal growth, and a deeper appreciation for the bond between mother and child. In this blog, I want to share my personal journey of motherhood without a mother and shed light on the strength and resilience that can emerge from such circumstances.

1. Acknowledging the Void: When embarking on the path of motherhood without a mother, I am in light today that it is important to acknowledge the void that exists. I do long for the presence of my mother, yearning for her guidance, love, and wisdom. However in light to that too, it is okay to mourn this loss and recognize that it's natural to feel a sense of grief, especially during significant milestones like having a baby for the first era. Honouring these emotions is an essential part of the healing process and those flashbacks are worth it.

2. Seeking Support from Other Women: even though it took me long to open up to other mothers, while our mothers may not physically be with us, it doesn't mean we have to face motherhood alone. Reach out to other women who have experienced similar circumstances or who can offer support and guidance. Joining support groups, connecting with friends, or seeking professional counselling can provide the emotional support we need during this transformative journey. Other women can provide a unique perspective and become an invaluable source of encouragement.

3. Embracing Self-Discovery: In the absence of my mother, I have had an opportunity to discover and define my own version of motherhood, of course even before then I had grown so much in her absence. As I navigated the ups and downs, I could tap into my inner strength, intuition, and resilience. Therefore I unfolded to embrace the process of self-discovery and understood that I am capable of being the best mother I had always fantasized to be, even without the guidance of my own mother. I trust my instincts, I keep learning from my experiences, and I can boldly say I am open to growth and change.

4. Honouring Your Mother's Legacy: Although my mother may not physically be present, her legacy lives on within me; hot or cold. I was too young to say I knew her or maybe I learned certain lessons from her but I take time to reflect on the memories that I cherish. I have found ways to honour her in my own motherhood journey. Best still, the fact that I never bothered to know more about her from my loved ones I have started now to incorporate traditions, gathering those stories which I will share with my child and dedicate moments of remembrance to keep her spirit alive. By doing so, I believe I am passing on her love and wisdom to the next generation.

5. Creating a Supportive Network for My Child: In the absence of a grandmother, I believe it becomes essential to create a supportive network for my child. Though I am still in my toddler phase, this one i ascertain it is vital for the betterment of my little one. Talk about surrounding them with loving relatives, friends, and mentors who can provide guidance and serve as positive role models. The summed up vision is to foster connections with other families, participate in community activities, and cultivate relationships that will help my child grow emotionally, intellectually, and socially.

Conclusion: Motherhood is a beautiful and complex journey that can be challenging even with the support of a mother. Indulging this path without a mother oozes its own set of Title: self-discovery!

A special piece for my son:

DEAR SON

I wrote your name in my worst fears

No matter how dark it gets

I will always return home to you

To nurse you and grace how grateful I am for this motherhood award

I am god I know I am

Because I am a creator through your creation

I am not perfect I know but it be known and be ululated upon that I am a huge part of your life

And as unbelievable as it is

Your little sincere eyes voices every day to me what a fantasy you are not but a reality you are

That I am God I know I am